Nothing to say

I feel a little weird writing now. lol Sissy asked to read this blog and I argued a bit, but eventually I gave in and gave her the link. God it was embarrassing…I think I might get a break on this one cause she is reading back entries so she isn’t at the first page. lol And now she is coming to stay the night tonight…YAY! She is actually going out with a friend of hers. But the bar is not 50 feet from my house. So I am going to drink and hang out with Seth till she gets home and then we are going to hang out.

I don’t think she realizes the position i am in. lol She was saying when she gets home she is going to give me a lap dance. haha I joked back…Should I get ones?  She (on the phone) picked up that I was blushing. But it’s not embarasment that she said something sexual, or kinky..It’s because she says things that trigger thoughts…and dreams…and day dreams. lol That is what is embarasing.

I know Seth will be mad at me for writing this. But I am okay with that. He knew in the begining that I liked girls and marring him, or any man, doesn’t change that. I didn’t purposesly fall in love her. And it was a shock to me that she felt the same way. But this is what it is. And Idon’t want to have to hide it.

There are so many things I think of when I think of her. And…There is no one to tell. I want to share with Seth, but yeah, we all know that is not a good idea. I share some with Ann, but she doesn’t want to her all that. Sissy makes me so happy to be around. I am absolutely giddy that she is going to be here in about an hour, even though she will leave right after that. I get excited to talk to her and even more so to see her. I don’t try to push Seth out. I haven’t at all. But he makes me wonder sometimes if…..I don’t know, if maybe telling him was a bad idea. But even if I didn’t tell him, he would still act the same way.

I had a lot more to write, but I deleted half of it. Seth would read it and be pissy, or Sissy would read, and then I would never be able to face her again. lol Besides, A picture is worth a thousand words.

janey