Holiday weekend

I am so glad that weekend is over! lol It was so long. Ann and her bf came down to visit. It was also her 19th birthday. I can’t believe she’s an adult. We went to the cantalope festival. Non of us has gotten to see battle of the bands so we got a babysitter for the night. It wasn’t nothing great. We should have stayed over in the main area and watched kareoke. We caught the end of it and by that time me and D were plowed! lol

Seth bought me a ring. It’s not real but it is so beautiful! I absolutly love it! All together we spent like 60 bucks on alcohol. lol But it was fun. They also had a tiger show, and that was awsome! Ann is in love with tigers, so she got a kick out of that. I wanted to get her picture taken with one, but it was 20 bucks.

Seth in I got into a fight this weekend. While I was shopping he accused me of having phone sex. Whatever. I took it harder than I should of. But it has been a touchy subject. Not phone sex, but the fact that there are so many people willing to own me and train me and all I have to do is say yes, take me. But I don’t. I stay here even when I am miserable. I explained all this to him. I told him exactly how I feel. And all the things playing on my mind right now.

I don’t think he heard a word I said. Cause since then, it’s been like nothing happened.

One thing that made me most happy…like the happiest I have ever been, was puppy play. And he took that away. I told him that too. But again, nothing. He had mentioned a while ago bringing it back….

But shit, now I just feel stupid for liking something so dumb. It took me so long to get comfortable with it and be okay with it. And as soon as I did, he didn’t want it any more. So now I just feel dumb.

My heart is hurting tonight. It has been for a few days. I have been very lonely. I talked to Ann about it all. She doesn’t get it, but she understands. I hate having her here, I stress out alot more. But at the same time, it’s nice to have someone around who will talk to me and likes the same things I do and will just hang out.

So that the downlow. Eventful, huh? lol

I’m boring. lol Anyways, I think I am going to go lay down.

~~jane

Just touching home

Nothing but drama bull shit going on here. The evil step bitch’s family came for my step brothers graduation. And as usual the step bitch fucked it up. She had everyone yelling a the poor boy. Okay so I stepped in when it really wasn’t my place. But I didn’t do anything to bad. But now my dad won’t talk to me. It hurts.

But whatever.

Ann came down this weekend. I let her bring her BF. He’s not so bad. I guess they have decided to wiat a while before they get married. That’s good.

Seth didn’t make it the 2 months. After less than a month he was all about the sex again. I gave up fighting it. It is all he will ever want so fucking blah.

My birthday is tomorrow. Nothing is happening. Ann is the only one that does anything for anyone. Seth wants to spend the money on pizza. That was supposed to be the money for him to get me a birthday present. I don’t know why I bother to fucking care! I hate holidays that have to do with me. They are so fucked up.

Anyways…I am going to stop bitching …for a minute anyways.

lol

 

~~jane

Nottin’ new

Not much has been happening around here. We had a mishap so I have just been relaxing and healin. I feel much better than I did yesterday. So that is pluss. Most the pain is up in my shoulders. The cuts are all healing. I can tell by how severly my body itches. I’ll be glad when they are gone and I do not have to hide any more. Of course my dad, not knowing what happened…is constantly rubbing my back. So it has been hard to restrain the crys.lol

Ann is coming home for the weekend. I want to see her, though I can honestly I’m not really looking forward to it. I feel the jealousy raging this morning when she called. She wanted to make sure it was okayt hat she stayed the night here. Normally I would have been so excited. And in a way I am. Master does not like any of the movies I want to see. So the past couple days I have been watching them alone. It will be nice to have someone who wants to hang with me…But at the same time….well you know me…I can’t get shit outta my head…

It’s only for the weekend this time. So it will be a short visit. that will help I think. Again it will nice to hang with someone I can share stuff with.

I don’t have much else right now. I got hurt inside during that night..So sex hasn’t been an issue. I can’t say I’m upset about that, but I do without the pain…lol

Oh well..till next time..

~~jane