A Beating

So my posts, as of late, have been a bit depressing. I really wish Sir would find something and stick with it. I need the consitancy. But we came to an agreement that there is no sex for 2 months. That was the orginal plan but it got fucked up. I don’t care if he jacks off…he does anyways. But i’m not jacking him off and he is not using me to get off. Of course it’s the other way too. So he has promised to stick by this and so far is.

So last night I asked him to massage a knot out of my back. I never ask him to do this. He either turns it into sex or finds a way not to do it. But it hurt so bad, and sex is out of the picture. So he agreed. He used this lame massager we got. It felt so good though. Of course I had just gotten out of the shower so I was naked…So it all led to a spanking, something I haven’t had in a long time. It hurts so much more than any of the toys. Then the crop and the cane.

He tried to hook my nipples up to the head board, but it didn’t work. That will take some practice. Then he move into a beating…

He hit and punched and kicked. The whole time I was on my knees. Next time I would like to try it where I can move around..maybe crumple up to protect what areas I can. It just seemed a bit staged, having to stay still. I was nervous when he tried to kick my cunt. I mean, fuck, it just doesn’t sound very pleasuable or erotic. But it was okay.  The hits in the ribs got to be a bit much. They started to hurt pretty bad. I don’t know how much he let go. But I handled it okay. He slapped me a few times and that lately is more painfull than normal.

I don’t remember why it stopped. Sir asked me if I wanted it to stop and I said yes. He sat down and held me and flood of tears began. I couldn’t stop them. I get this confused feeling, of “why the hell did I just let him do that” and “That’s kinda hot”. Then there is the naggin voice yelling “your twisted”. I don’t remember what finally pushed me to saying stop though. I know after it stops, whatever ‘it’ is, I always feel sad that it stopped. Even if I really couldn’t take anymore. Suddenly I regret saying to stop.

So that’s it for now…I saw a meme kitten did. I might do it later.

 

~~jane

Thursdays question

Share the story of how you got your most vivid marks. Tell me about marks that you struggled to live through, that lasted a long time or that were unexpected. If you don’t mark easily, tell a story about how you and your partner(s) have tried.– http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/

Visually…For christmas I got Master a crop. Just a cheap one from one of the ranch type stores. I like it. I think it’s a bit hard to handle, since your only supposed to hit with the leather. I always get hit with the tip of the actual stick…I don[‘t remember everything that happened that night. All I remember was the bruises. Both my tits were back and blue. and not like lightly bruised, no…they were covered and sore. That time was okay. they weren’t so bad that I couldn’t hold the baby or anything. But that crop…fuck it bruises me so quick.

Not visually….would have to be this time. As a kid I used to bruise at the drop of a hat. Not any more though. I hardly bruise now.

Taking the cane across my back like I did killed me. I have been about three days in recovery from it. Each whack with whatever he was using would nock the breath out of me and for a second I could feel my lungs burning for air.

The bullet in my twat was a whole nother story. I don’t like vibrating things in my cunt. they always hurt. This time it got pinched on skin both at the back or i guess the front of my cervix and then again on my G spot. There was a bit of blood so I know it pinched bad enough to break skin..But oh dear god the pain is undescribeable. But hey it’s another reason to get out having to fuck..lol I can’t if it is damamged..lol

I guess it falls under visually but the cuts didn’t hurt to bad till the next day. They are still a bit siore, but mostly itchy. Their pain is all spychological though.

fight back….and then some other stuff

So last night we decided I was goingt o fight back. Completely. Not holding back. It was fun adn good. I fought and he duct taped. lol A while through it, it got pretty intense. Emma said something about her fight scenes were real. She gets angry and honestly fights. And she was ruight. That rage just suddenly built up and it was an honest to god fight or flight moment.

As upset as I was and struggling, I widh Seth would have continuied and just let me fight it out. But I think it scared him when I wouldn’t calm down. So we stopped. Adn so did my urge to even fuck anymore. But he dept trying and fucked me dry, so now I hurt like a bitch and that cyst…omg it hurts.

Not to be let down we started again. This time it went alittle better. Not the great explosion it was the first time around, but it was okay…I had an orgasm that would put niagra falls to shame. lol..damn gotta wash the sheets…

Anhow before that he decided to have a beating session. He doesn’t do this anymore. It is straight on to the cane and the crop. So I was surprised to hear the flogger come out….But there was no sensual beating or anything of the sort..it was all see how much girl can take beating. It hurt beyong belief. And at one point I got angry. I was angry that the first scene was stopped, I was afraid to let go and once I finally did he got stopped. I was angry that he wasn’t taking his time and just beating the crap out of me. I was angry that he didn’t touch me after he hit me…All this things boiling over in my head.

I had a good cry going on in the first scene, but now, there was no tears. I took it all silently and just stayed in my own head. When I finally did get to orgasm…I didn’t yell and make a big woopla I just let it ride out and enjoyed it for once. I think after all that I deserved it.

In my attempt to not make any noise I tried to crawl away from him hitting me…With the can or crop of flogger, whatever the fuck it was..And he just kept hitting. Though that sucked it was cool to. Normally he would have been oh i’m sorry are you okay, do i need to stop. So it was nice he just kept going. Except when he hit my cunt full force with the flogger and it tipped the fucking cyst. Then I thought I was going to explode. The pain was so unbelievable!

Anyhow that was our night..Our morning! So I am off to wash the sheet! lol

~~jane

Oh My…The bruises

So, OMG. I was actually in the mood for once last night. Unfortunatly I had to babysit D’s baby, which ended up being overnight and I had a migraine (still not gone) So I got high on a couple percocet! The night was not shaping up so good. lol

 But in the end we got nasty. I spent some time on yahoo telling Seth what I like and what I want and how I feel. I think he only listened to the sexual things. But atleast he can’t say he didn’t know.

Anyways so it started out with me on my stomach getting beat. He put clothes pins on my pussy and tits..which I was laying on. So it hurt unbelievably! He asked a few question here and there and, over all it was good. I did have to call safeword on one of the clothespins. OMG it hurt so bad!

So that was all good. Then I had to turn over and lay on my back. Yeah well, for christmas I bought Seth a crop, and it finally got put to use. He beat the shit ot of my tits with it. And then there was some fucking and groping, choking, punching, biting, scratching….etc.

Well Now both my tits are full out black and blue. I told Seth, this was one time I would actually let him take a picture for me to post. But my chip reader is broken. So to ge tthe picture I would have to take it to my dads..and yeah well…no.

I read somewhere that ice helps get rid of the bruises and so maybe I’ll sit with an ice pack for a bit.

Anyhow, it was good. I did have a bit of sub drop for the first time. We really didn’t expect is or know how to handle it so Seth just kept playing his game and I kept doing my puzzle. But suddenly I got real sad and wanted to cry and I couldn’t stop shaking. But it went away pretty fast.

So overall it was a good night. Except for the part of not getting to bed till 6 am..UGG!!